Posted by AltBlogger on December 21 2008 in
Food & Drink,
Health,
Lifestyle,
Pop Culture I’m not, but I’m getting there. I’ve been slowly stocking up on canned and dry food for a few months. Nothing crazy, just a can of soup here and a package of dried fruit there. At this point I think I have enough food to last for about a month. Water is crucial too, and my kitchen looks a scene from Signs where water is left out all over the place.
I’ve got tear-proof screens on my windows which won’t stop a bullet or tree branch, but should hold up to zombie hands pretty well. I also purchased a bunch of plywood that I have stored in my garage for a quick solution to reinforce the windows. The attic is also fairly stocked and I’ve left some food, ammo, and a hatchet up there. I need some road flares, new sleeping bags, and a propane camping stove. Maybe some toilet paper too. Been looking at buying a fold up aluminum ladder to move from one roof to another, but maybe I should get some fence poles like in Tremors. The ladder would let me move around in my neighborhood for days without hitting the pavement.
Got plenty of weapons, but I really need a combat shotty for close encounters. Right now all I have is a Benelli over/under, two Smith & Wesson Sigmas (9mm), a long range 30-30 with a scope, and two Bowie knives. The Benelli would do the trick, but only having two shots before reloading is going to be a problem. Half my ammo is in the bedroom and the rest is piled up in the attic. In the next few weeks I’m tying to stock up on batteries and MagLite bulbs, as well as some extra mags for my guns, but I feel like I’m missing something crucial…
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Tags: nice made up story, shopping, survival, zombies
Posted by AltBlogger on December 10 2008 in
Blog,
Entertainment,
Lifestyle,
Pop Culture,
Technology So back in 1993, I bought my first Hallmark Star Trek ornament and that continued for the next 8-9 years. What started out as an innocent geeky obsession turned into a dangerous fantasy. You see, I don’t just hang these ornaments on the tree and be done with them. I connect them to a string of holiday lights to light them up. I lie back on the couch and pretend I am Picard or Kirk fighting Romulans on some imaginary epic space battle and then I tried to stick them up my ass. It was hard at first but year after year, it became easier. I am now comfortable with a string of lighted Star Trek ships up my ass that I can move around as far as the string of lights will let me without getting unplugged from the socket. Sadly, I had to give it up. Lets just say the inside of my anus is a burnt out husk from a short circuit in Enterprise NCC 1701-D.
Here is my collection:
Read more…
Tags: Gerbil, Hallmark Ornaments, Star Trek
Posted by AltBlogger on December 8 2008 in
Blog,
Food & Drink,
Lifestyle Its the last week of class, finals are coming, and there is a lot of work to do. Having a lot of papers to write, and a presentation to work on, the next couple of days are going to be pretty much the same. Walk back from class, grab lunch to go, work, work some more, break for dinner, work.
Usually, on the way back from class, I just walk into a nearby McDonald’s that just happens to be along the way. Double Cheeseburger, fries, and a soda. Good snack food, brain food, and poop food. Its simple and gets the job done. Fills you up until you empty it in liquid ass.
But enough about poo. Today was a particularly strange and saddening day for me. Walking in and looking up at the menu, I saw something different, something new. ‘McDouble’ in place of the old ‘Double Cheeseburger’. Same price, it was on the dollar menu. I inquired as to what exactly a ‘McDouble’ was. The lady behind the counter was gracious enough to answer my question in the normal intelligent way McDonald’s employees do.
“Is A Dohble Cheeseburrgur.”
Okay. I ordered two. Got back to my room and opened the cheap wrapping on them, and took a look. They look the same but something…something was off…I looked from top to bottom.
Bread
Meat
Cheese
Meat
Bread
Then it hit me. Sonofabitch. They took away a slice of cheese! Immediately I did copious amounts of research. The new McDouble is in fact the same as a double cheeseburger, but they took away a slice of cheese.
Is the economy so bad that McDonald’s needs to cut costs??
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Posted by AltBlogger on December 6 2008 in
Lifestyle If you’re in college, you’re used to waking up on Saturdays feeling like dog shit from drinking the night before. I’m a wee bit hungover, nothing too bad. But AltBlogger, isn’t it the weekend before finals..shouldn’t you be studying? You know what, FUCK YOU! I had a rough week damn it!
This past week was dead week. If you don’t know the term, let me educate you on it’s purpose. At any major college or university, the week before finals are administered and most major projects and assignments are due for submission. The late night working and hardcore studying for finals gives the students a zombie like atmosphere, and causes an eerie silence and many blank, unseeing expressions. Thanks urbandictionary, you’re always there when I need you.
Dead week sucks more dick than Amy Winehouse when she’s broke in the projects fiending for a rock. This was my schedule Tuesday.
8 A.M. - Written Digital Logic Lab final
9 A.M. - Written Electronics 2 Lab final
1 P.M. - Practical Electronics 2 Lab final
3 P.M. - Practical Digital Logic Lab final
Then I had Microprocessing homework due Wednesday (not that bad, had already done 1&2) and 3 programs due for C++. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, school sucks. I took a test Friday too and then walked all around campus looking for that god damn Mirror’s Edge symbol. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, the game Mirror’s Edge is doing a giveaway where they plant two symbols on 40 college campuses and if you take a picture next to one and email them, they’ll give you a free copy of the game. Contest
Well I go to LSU and I looked EVERYWHERE Friday since I had a test at 9:30 and a class at 2:30 and wanted to win a contest. It walked went into every hall and in some of the bigger buildings went to all the floors and didn’t find shit. The only place I have left to look is the rec center because it’s so far away from everything.
So Friday night some friends and I decided to get a little fucked up and we went to a friend’s house and played Taboo and some game called Catchphrase. I was a little skeptical at first, but it was a lot of fun. The water bottle half full of straight Captain Morgan and a 32 oz. of the champagne of beers didn’t hurt either. I told my friend to get my a fucking 40 and he said they didn’t have any. Nice made up story asshole.
Taboo is a word guessing party game where the object of the game is for a player to have their partner(s) guess the word on their card without using the word itself or five additional words listed on the card. We played with three teams of three and one team was god awful, my team was average, and then the team with two girls in a guy raped everyone. We played to 30 and the final scores were like 36 to 24 and the shitty team had 8. Laughs were had by all.
After getting raped, we moved on to Catchphrase. Catchphrase is played with some electronic disc-shaped thing where it shows a word and you have to get your team to guess the word and then you pass the device and the next person hits the next button and does the same. As this is happening, a beeping noise slowly gets faster until it’s very rapid and then just stops. It’s kinda like hot potato with word guessing. Also a very fun game.
Alright, enough of this bullshit rambling about nothing. I bet Ody is going to hate this bIog about nothing almost as much as Seinfeld. Gotta go to the grocery store and get some food to last me through finals week. Peace and much love to ya.
/blog
inb4omgyouandmalaysianshouldbebffs
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Tags: you're it!
Posted by AltBlogger on December 6 2008 in
Lifestyle I’m not sure why.
I don’t even know anyone who has one, so where would the idea come from? It doesn’t seem like a particularly good one, when I stop to think about it. They throw their own shit, they bite people (maybe even me), and they probably shed.
I fucking hate getting dog or cat hair on my clothes when I’m at a friend’s house. Monkey hair would probably be worse, what with all the shit on it.
Plus monkeys steal newborns and smother them, and they’ll steal your cigarettes if you leave them out. At least I think they do, I read about it on the Internet so that’s probably true.
Smokes are expensive, so that’s a pretty big negative in my mind.
Monkeys are also known doing rude stuff at inappropriate times, and that’s my job. I don’t want some uneducated monkey taking my job.
That’s probably the most racist thing posted on this blog yet, but it really wasn’t if you take it in the context of the larger point being made.
Or you could just laugh and say “DAT MONKEY TUK YER JAWB!!!”
Hah, monkeys are funny. I should totally get one.
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Tags: Monkeys rule
Posted by AltBlogger on December 4 2008 in
Lifestyle,
Pop Culture I have a lot of knick-knacks and what nots around my house. I guess you could call them chatchkis. You know stuff like action figures, statues, toys, gadgets..etc. It’s all cool. But what purpose does it serve really? Is it so people can catch a glimpse of my personality when they see it? Or is it because I like to look at it? I’m not sure really. At some point I think to myself “These are awesome… but why in the fuck do I have them?”.
It really doesn’t keep me from buying more of it though. I love the crap. I love my Big Daddy figurine, I love my Master Chief helmet, I love my Optimus Prime, I love my Moobys Funployee badge, I love it all.
Where does it stop though? I recently boxed up a bunch of little chatchkis because they were in an area where peoples kids would constantly pull them out and play with them and they were really unseen otherwise. I don’t blame the kids for wanting to play with them. They’re all just toys basically anyway. But putting them in the box I thought that’s it? That’s what happens to these things? They get displayed and then tossed away into a box? That’s the end game for all this compulsive buying?
I guess what I’m really trying to say here is.. I need to buy more wall shelves for my office.
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Posted by AltBlogger on December 3 2008 in
Blog,
Health,
Lifestyle It’s been a tough year for everyone. Unemployment is at an all time high. The financial sector is in tatters. And our government is about to change leadership. We’re all facing hard times no matter what line of service or business we’re in. But in all this frenzy and unknown, there is always a constant for me: family. My parents, my brothers, my daughter, my wife… I know that no matter how far I fall, they will hold me up…and my family is about to get bigger. My wife told me yesterday that we’re pregnant. After almost a year of planning, trying, doctor visits, and drugs, my 5yr old daughter is going to be a big sister. I was so happy when she told me over the phone and I can’t wait to tell the rest of my family the big news.
Altblogging life…
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