Space, the final frontier…
So back in 1993, I bought my first Hallmark Star Trek ornament and that continued for the next 8-9 years. What started out as an innocent geeky obsession turned into a dangerous fantasy. You see, I don’t just hang these ornaments on the tree and be done with them. I connect them to a string of holiday lights to light them up. I lie back on the couch and pretend I am Picard or Kirk fighting Romulans on some imaginary epic space battle and then I tried to stick them up my ass. It was hard at first but year after year, it became easier. I am now comfortable with a string of lighted Star Trek ships up my ass that I can move around as far as the string of lights will let me without getting unplugged from the socket. Sadly, I had to give it up. Lets just say the inside of my anus is a burnt out husk from a short circuit in Enterprise NCC 1701-D.
Here is my collection:
1993 USS Enterprise (Next Generation)
1994 Klingon Bird of Prey
1995 Romulan Warbird
1996 USS Voyager
1998 USS Enterprise (First Contact)
1999 Runabout USS Rio Grande (DS9)
2002 Delta Flyer
2003 Scorpion (Nemesis)
2004 Vulcan Command Ship
“Mr. Spock, the women on your planet are logical. That’s the only planet in the galaxy that can make that claim.” - Kirk
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Me want - but not the ones that were up your ass.
lol @ Gerbil tag.
My mom and step dad have all of those too.. plus some. I’ll take a picture of their tree this year. It’s nuts.