Another golden weekend of movies you most likely won’t be going to see!

Sorry I missed you last week, so in order to make it up, lets just see what you missed. Its still in theaters anyway, quit bitching. You didn’t miss much anyway. The biggest release was, no doubt, 21. This little guy starred Jim Sturgess (AKA the guy from ACROSS THE UNIVERSE), Kevin Spacy (Kaiser Soze. Spoilers? Fuck you), and Kate Bosworth (the bony chick from Superman who is not that hot but hot enough to sleep with). I saw it, just for you. To sum it up, its incredible compared to the shit thats been coming out lately (it’s biggest competition was fucking SUPERHERO MOVIE), but it wasn’t all that great. Just like gambling for me, its fun why they are winning, but when they start to lose all I wanna do is leave.

The only well-received movie that came out this week was STOP-LOSS, an MTV films movie. Now, even though it was a well liked movie critics wise, if you like this movie, shut up. The movie stars Channing Tatum (I could stop here) Ryan Philippe (Does anyone else get actually legit pissed at his voice? Something about it….) and some girls who look more like girls I’d want in bed then next to me on the front line. Plot Synopsis? Good looking people come back from Iraq. End. Moving on…

Opening
Wow. Another dry well of releases this week. At the for front we have NIM’S ISLAND. Quite frankly, I don’t want to go too much into this because my thoughts have already been made clear before. See this movie if you have kids or get a hard on for the Dakota Fanning of today, Abigail Breslin. Seek help if thats the case as well. Sicko.

Allow me to go on a little rant here. Fuck you, Abigail Breslin. Your not hot shit. You really are just another Dakota Fanning. You were in one movie playing a cute role to get your start (SIGNS), then in a critically successful film (LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE) and now your on the slippery slope down to no one cares land. BYE.

Next release is George Clooney’s attempt at comedy, LEATHERHEADS. He is directing and starring in his first comedy, and we know he can be a pretty funny guy, but can he do both at once? Can the master pull it off?

Evidently not. Sure, Clooney can be funny, but early reviews say he can’t multi task. That guy from The Office? He’s great in that show. But his big screen takes haven’t been very successful. Renee Zellweger? Don’t get me started. Bitch looks like she is always sucking on a lemon. I’m convinced there is no uglier sight then Renee Zellweger sneezing. Except maybe Seabiscuit AKA Sarach Jessica Parker.

The last release is this weeks attempt at horror, THE RUINS. I’ll keep this one simple. No one is interesting in it. The plot looks boring. There are no reviews out yet (no reviews by Thursday means they are holding back critic screenings so bad reviews don’t hurt box office takes…meaning even the people distributing the movie know its shit). Plus, no one that has done anything remotely good in film is involved. Could this be just a serious underdog and be a fantastic horror movie? Yes. Will it be? Fuck no.

New Trailers And Clips For the Week
Bangkok Dangerous (HD) (Nic Cage is feeling the Tom Hanks Da Vinci Code look ain’t he?)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (CHILL! Its a TV Spot.)
My Sassy Girl (Flash)
What Happens in Vegas (HD)
X-Files 2 (Bootleg Trailer 2)

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Chuck is just way too optimistic about everything. He loves writing, relaxing, playing some games and watching some football.
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